Sag Harbor is such a great book to end off the school year. From the setting of Sag Harbor, to Benji's experiences of working jobs, hanging out with friends, and getting into trouble, the book gives us aspirations about what our summer could look like this year. However, instead of focusing on the summer break dynamic in the book, I want to explore the equally complicated family dynamic in the book. As a reminder, our main character Benji has a slightly younger brother named Reggie, an older sister named Elena, a mother and a father. Elena is off to college while Reggie and Benji are still at home and hanging out together.
The main issue that the family dynamic focuses on is of course the abusive nature of the father. He has a sense of masculinity that is very toxic, as he is known to be very violent and very strict. What makes the father so hard to deal with is the fact that he makes up rules on the go and his mood greatly affects how he treats his children. The father's toxic definition of masculinity is what triggers all of the violence in the house. This is best displayed when he started beating Benji after finding out that Benji did not beat up a kid who insulted him about his race. Not only did he punch Benji unexpectedly, he also expected Benji to not cry. The father's acts of violence aren't just displayed on the physical level. He called Reggie "shithead" for an entire year because of Reggies disappointing grades.
The kids desperately want to escape this. However, many factors come into play to stop them from escaping. First, Elena is the only one old enough to leave the house and never come back. She was very optimistic about her opportunity to leave home and it's pretty clear she thinks she made the right decision. Next, even when Benji reaches the age where he is able to escape, nostalgia would be a big factor in making him hesitate about his decision. Although Elena never had this problem, Benji still enjoys the fun times he shared with his family, and this nostalgia is enough to make him second guess himself. Even though the father was a cause of lots of trauma, the family must've made good memories over their many years together. Those good memories could act as a hand pulling Benji back when he tries to leave.
We see that the family dynamic in Sag Harbor is quite conflicting. Benji wants to leave, but it's unclear if he will be able to make that step out the door when nostalgia is holding him back. Although he knows that staying with his father is no good, he's neither old enough nor mentally prepared enough to leave. Abusive situations, especially in the household, are not as easy to escape as most people think. No matter how badly the father treated Benji, he was still Benji's father, and Benji will always love him. I don't really know how to end this blog so I hope that every one has a great summer!
